Vampirus

This is where it will end.

Ripped

open

6:19 in the morning

shadowed turn from wall

to wall

to wall

Last night was a slaughterhouse

It still trickles through lymph

ivory eyes rotting off

I rubbed your skin between my toes

and he sucked the last drop.

Blood stained sheets

Hand to hand to vessel

flipped up to screaming

sprays out, shot of Vampirus

swallow

Nails down spine

Bare back ablaze

Pick off the scabs

six by six

There in the morning

6:22 AM

Closed hip fear

that no one will come

in the morning

This is where it starts

*Some words from “If I Was Your Vampire”/Eat Me Drink Me by Marilyn Manson.

Monstrosity

Tangled dreadsof

petty mouth turds

trail into her.

That place.

Eaters can smell touch

but cameras only

Pray

You taste like

You taste like

You taste like

Not drudge but

demons

ones with

five tongues

trail into

That place.

Lullaby of ripped

Will cry to

They cry to

Her.

I.

Mangled dronesof

pretty mouth words

play for me.

That place.

Sleepers can feel flesh

but snaps only

Lie

I can’t be

I can’t be

I can’t be

Not love but

lusty

those with

eyeballs

penetrate

That place.

Requiem of fearless

Will beat to

They beat to

Me.

I

Monstrosity.

Psych

walk sign says run from

black pavement

is a joke

13 times repeated.

Run on the mill.

600 times repeated.

upturned teeth

make murk seethe

psych ice sticky

Spit

Words sit around now

clean these faces that

teeth quit hands learn how to never do

shit face.

grow old

people met

drink clean

listen spit.

Words from “Lover’s Spit” by Broken Social Scene.

Not Mine (dedicated to my wonderful father and his ol' girl)

I am important to her. She comes and goes,

belonging to that man,

but my fingers climb her teeth

with the food you bought for your room.

She hides most days

in that feather basket,

waiting for your whistle hi.

(So sweet, bananas delight)

Lonely fingers greet her disheveled gaze.

[That morning, off to work, go lay.]

Goodbye, ol’ girl!

(Droplets on ears)

Denied belongings

(She’s here, she’s here)

The papers say yes.

The papers don’t lie!

.

.

.

Divine, divine…but not mine.

First line is from Sylvia Plath's Mirror, perhaps my favorite poem of all time.

Curt

You can be silent and still tell me something.
The man claps next to the purple wallpaper.
He really isn't a man, more of a boygirl doll...
gender doesn't play a part.
What if I was your girlfriend?
You're my boyfriend and my girlfriend
and my everyfriend.
Lyrics mumbles spaces
divide up my misery
into sizeable pieces.
Sun can flow through cracks
Cracked
Broken, but what part?
You say broken means beautiful

(all you can see is the sun)
Sun
Sun
Sun
...

Statement of Gratitude

I guess an update is in order...I have been writing a lot, just not posting. I'm working on several really exciting creative projects with modeling. Well, more than modeling- I'm doing set design, makeup, hair, etc. I have found that art is the best way for me to keep my demons at bay. I expect the work I have to come will be quite controversial, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I refuse to censor myself and I encourage the "audience" and my community of fellow artists to explore what the concept means to him/her as well as society.

I've also been looking to get more publications, the next step in my artistry, so to speak. "I just want you to know who I am." I hope that my openness will come across not just online, but in print/on paper, and that it will encourage others to be honest with themselves and other people. I want people to know that they are not alone in their own quirks, dark secrets, perceived negativity...I'm right there with you. If I have any goal for my art, it is that it will inspire others to express themselves. I hunger for a connection with as many people as possible. When we reveal our inner selves to others, the walls come crashing down. We become one- I am no one.

This craving for connections comes from the feedback and communications I have had with other artists that I have collaborated with or who I admire from afar. It started with one photo shoot- and I found this whole world of beauty and exposed confusion. For most of my life I have looked for people that I can REALLY relate to- and I have found them through art. My wildest dreams have come true. People ask me what is on my "bucket list," and I can honestly say that most of those items are already checked off. I feel so blessed to be on this Earth...I just feel overwhelmed with the beauty in people and the spiritual world.

That little bit doesn't begin to describe how grateful I am feeling right now, but that will have to do. I have isolated this space for only my written work, but I am working on mixed media projects with some very talented photographers and recording artists that I will soon post here as well.

Keep creating beauty, and know that we are exploring this strange place together.

Love,
Laureate