Not Mine (dedicated to my wonderful father and his ol' girl)

I am important to her. She comes and goes,

belonging to that man,

but my fingers climb her teeth

with the food you bought for your room.

She hides most days

in that feather basket,

waiting for your whistle hi.

(So sweet, bananas delight)

Lonely fingers greet her disheveled gaze.

[That morning, off to work, go lay.]

Goodbye, ol’ girl!

(Droplets on ears)

Denied belongings

(She’s here, she’s here)

The papers say yes.

The papers don’t lie!

.

.

.

Divine, divine…but not mine.

First line is from Sylvia Plath's Mirror, perhaps my favorite poem of all time.

Curt

You can be silent and still tell me something.
The man claps next to the purple wallpaper.
He really isn't a man, more of a boygirl doll...
gender doesn't play a part.
What if I was your girlfriend?
You're my boyfriend and my girlfriend
and my everyfriend.
Lyrics mumbles spaces
divide up my misery
into sizeable pieces.
Sun can flow through cracks
Cracked
Broken, but what part?
You say broken means beautiful

(all you can see is the sun)
Sun
Sun
Sun
...

Statement of Gratitude

I guess an update is in order...I have been writing a lot, just not posting. I'm working on several really exciting creative projects with modeling. Well, more than modeling- I'm doing set design, makeup, hair, etc. I have found that art is the best way for me to keep my demons at bay. I expect the work I have to come will be quite controversial, but I wouldn't want it any other way. I refuse to censor myself and I encourage the "audience" and my community of fellow artists to explore what the concept means to him/her as well as society.

I've also been looking to get more publications, the next step in my artistry, so to speak. "I just want you to know who I am." I hope that my openness will come across not just online, but in print/on paper, and that it will encourage others to be honest with themselves and other people. I want people to know that they are not alone in their own quirks, dark secrets, perceived negativity...I'm right there with you. If I have any goal for my art, it is that it will inspire others to express themselves. I hunger for a connection with as many people as possible. When we reveal our inner selves to others, the walls come crashing down. We become one- I am no one.

This craving for connections comes from the feedback and communications I have had with other artists that I have collaborated with or who I admire from afar. It started with one photo shoot- and I found this whole world of beauty and exposed confusion. For most of my life I have looked for people that I can REALLY relate to- and I have found them through art. My wildest dreams have come true. People ask me what is on my "bucket list," and I can honestly say that most of those items are already checked off. I feel so blessed to be on this Earth...I just feel overwhelmed with the beauty in people and the spiritual world.

That little bit doesn't begin to describe how grateful I am feeling right now, but that will have to do. I have isolated this space for only my written work, but I am working on mixed media projects with some very talented photographers and recording artists that I will soon post here as well.

Keep creating beauty, and know that we are exploring this strange place together.

Love,
Laureate